for fucks sake

i am a failure. i am going to end up living in a box. a cardboard box on the streets of new york.

i plan and organise and work hard, make sure i know what i want, i've had my goals set for years and the intensity of how much i want them only grows with me.

but in the end, it doesn't make a fucking difference. people don't want me because i don't have enough experience, and i don't have enough experience because people don't want me. it's a stupid impossible catch-22.

i wish someone would realise that i DO have potential and i CAN learn easily and i'm good at most things i set my mind to.

arrrrgh. well...i guess a box is better than nothing.